I find the experience of co-parenting to be a bit challenging (<==== understatement), not least due to my lack of psychic ability, and the corresponding lack on my spouse's part.
Consider: There is currently an issue concerning our eldest daughter and my spouse's mother. He feels, as do I, that we need to discuss the issue with our kid, then take the discussion to his mother for clarification, so as to have everybody okay and happy, or at least on the same page.
Yesterday we had a great opportunity for him to have some communication time with our big kid, while I took the younger off for a lesson/activity. I seized upon this, and, concentrating hard at his receptors (if such exist) observed that they two of them could have some "wholesome father-daughter activity" while I was gone.
Being a fairly strong-brained person, I thought that if anyone could get this not-so-subtly-coded message through to him, I could. Apparently, the psychic spousal connection was out of order. He opted to come along on the youngest's activity.
Sometime during our observation of the little one, I outlined my thought process above to him, and asked if he would have taken the opportunity to speak to Big Kid had he stayed back at the homestead. The thought never crossed his mind, apparently. Despite my formidable mental gymnastics, I missed the mind control boat, I guess.
In every joint endeavor, people take on roles. Mine often is the discussor-of-uncomfortable-things role, as well as the regulation-of-emotional-atmosphere-in-the-household role. It seems reasonable, however, that my beloved should shoulder some of this particular job, as it is his mother as an interested party. I am a tainted source as far as she is concerned, being the one who often parents quite differently from how she would, as well as disagreeing on other issues.
I guess that we will have to sit down with Big Kid together, and I will lead my spouse through the process. He is a lovely dad, and will do fine. he is also a kind son, so his mother will also be fine. I just wish my psychic transmitter worked better.